Mission Accomplished
by Gwendolyn James
Summary: When Fred and George decide to help ickle Ronniekins get a girl, much chaos and hilarity ensues.


Disclaimer: I love Fred and George. I wish they were mine. Curse you, JK Rowling, for getting to them first!

A/N: I had so much fun writing this one! I hope you enjoy it!

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It was another beautiful summer day at the Burrow. The Weasley family was in its usual frenzied  
state.

"Charlie, could you set the table?"

"Mum, I'm working on something here!"

"Bill! Give me back my diary!"

"Has anyone seen my Cannons hat?"

"It's in your room, Ronald!"

"_Mum! _Bill won't give me back my diary!"

"Bill, give your sister her diary."

"Molly, where are my socks?"

"By the ironing board, dear. Charlie! Come and set the table!"

"I _can't_ right now, Mum! Get Ron to do it!"

"Ronald!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Nothing about this scene was the least bit out of the ordinary – except for the two Weasleys who _weren't_ participating in the commotion.

"There's got to be a way to do it."

"I've got plenty of ideas, but none of them are good enough. They'll just backfire like the last one."

"Oh, come on. It's not like they're smart enough to figure out what we're up to."

"_She_ is."

"Good point. But _he's _not."

"Well said."

"Maybe we should just let them handle this on their own."

"What, and wait another ten years? Where's the fun in _that_?"

"True. Alright, then – we need a new plan."

Luckily for Fred and George, nobody was paying them a bit of attention. Summer vacation had been quite dull up until now, and they weren't about to let it continue that way. True, they had the new shop to worry about and new jokes to test out, but it paled in comparison to the task that was now before them.

Their little brother's love life.

It was something they had never before wanted anything to do with, something they _would_ have avoided with a ten-foot pole... if only ickle Ronniekins wasn't so daft. They knew that he fancied Hermione – who _didn't_ know that? – but he would never in a million years have a chance with her if he was left to his own devices.

That's where _they_ came in.

It had been absolutely _painful_ to watch Ron and Hermione interact for the two weeks that she had been at the Burrow. Ron could barely string two sentences together in her presence, and Hermione blushed like a bushy-haired tomato whenever Ron entered a room.

"It's absolutely pathetic," Fred had muttered to his twin just days ago. "We have to take matters into our own hands."

And so their plans had begun.

Unfortunately, none of them had worked so far. Apparently their subtlety had been _too_ subtle.

"So, Hermione, met any handsome chaps lately?"

She had stared at them like they had grown extra heads.

"Ron, why don't you go help Hermione in the kitchen?"

He had muttered something about an allergic reaction to dishwater.

They tried to be a bit _less_ subtle.

"Ron, I think Hermione needs a backrub. She looks tense. Go help her out, won't you?"

"Oh, Hermione, Ron told me that he lov... er... likes your hair. How do you get it so bushy?"

Okay, so they hadn't perfected that one quite yet. But that didn't mean they were giving up. They just needed a better plan.

They had tried to enlist Bill and Charlie, but that was a no go.

"I really can't, mates – I've got to finish this report on the herd of Antipodean Opaleyes we got last month."

"I'd love to, but I honestly just don't care that much. Ronnie's a big boy – he can handle this one himself."

Oh, right. Like Ron could actually manage to get a girl like Hermione on his own. It was laughable, really. Right up there with the idea of Fred and George managing to strangle Umbridge with her own cardigan...

But that was a plan for another day. For now, they must focus their energies on their brother.

"Couldn't we make some kind of potion and get them to drink it?"

"Oh, right. Like we could actually get Hermione to drink something _we've_ made."

"Well, maybe we could just get Ron to drink it."

"Dunno about that. He's still pretty suspicious after that Hair Distorting potion we force-fed him last week."

"I don't know why – he looks great with a mullet."

"And a fringe."

"And a mustache."

"He could be a regular Casanova with that look."

"Yeah, well, we've already established that Hermione doesn't fancy him for his looks."

"Too bad he came from the shallow end of the gene pool."

"Focus."

"Right. No potions, then?"

"No potions. How about a candy of sorts?"

"As long as it doesn't _look_ like one of our candies. Even _he's_ not that thick."

"Chocolate, perhaps? Girls always adore chocolate."

"Good idea. And for Hermione?"

"Ha! Chocolate for both of them, then."

"Filling?"

"How about a variation of that cherry licorice we made – you know the one."

"Ah, yes. The one that makes you confess all to the one you love... perfect."

"It _was_ one of our more brilliant ideas, if I do say so myself."

"We really should step up the advertising for that one around Valentine's Day."

"Mmm. Our shop will be swarming with girls."

"Focus."

"Right. So, let's fill some chocolate bon bons with the melted licorice – how are we going to get them to eat it?"

"Come on, how many girls do you know that would turn down chocolate?"

"But how do we get _Hermione_ to eat it?"

"Let's put them in a box and leave them out where they'll see them."

Four hours later, after turning their bedroom into a chocolate war zone, the plan was ready to be put into action. The candy was placed in a silver box and left on the kitchen table. The twins hid in the broom closet and waited for the victims... er, _lovebirds_ to come.

"Arthur, come and set out the silverware for dinner!"

"Coming, dear!"

"Oh, what's this?"

No, no, no. That was _not_ part of the plan.

"What's what, Molly?"

"Arthur! You bought me chocolates! How sweet!"

Oh, holy night. Abort! Abort!

"But, Molly, I didn't..."

"Oh, and licorice flavoured! My favorite! Try one, dear!"

"Alright, but I... oh, this _is_ good!"

And before Fred and George even knew what was happening, their parents were snogging full out, right in the middle of the kitchen. It was like seeing Percy in swimming trunks – absolutely horrifying and capable of permanent mental scarring.

After that, they knew that the plan had to get less complicated. No more trickery or swindling. They would simply lock Ron and Hermione in a closet. It was the only way to get them alone together long enough so that they would be forced to admit their feelings for each other. It was a brilliant plan, completely foolproof.

It only took them two days to work out the details.

Step One: Grab Ron and Hermione.

Step Two: Open closet door.

Step Three: Throw Ron and Hermione into the closet.

Step Four: Close and lock closet door.

Completely foolproof. One hundred percent reliable.

Step One was easy enough. Ron just looked confused and shouted something about needing to use the toilet. Hermione put up more of a fight, but they subdued her by telling her that Ron had finally read _Hogwarts: A History_ and that he couldn't wait to discuss it.

The next bit was a tad trickier. Apparently Step Two should have been _before_ Step One, but it was too late for that now. It took a bit of maneuvering to get the closet door open while trying to keep Hermione from biting and Ron from wetting himself.

Step Three was alright – once they got a bit of leverage, it only took a little shove to get the two lovebirds into the closet.

Step Four only resulted in one minor injury, but concussions happen when you try to kick your abductor in the groin.

See? Completely foolproof. Now they just had to wait.

Unfortunately, they hadn't accounted for the fact that kidnapping is very tiring work. Within five minutes, both conspirators were snoring at the kitchen table.

"What was _that_ all about?"

"I have no idea. I think your brothers have gone a bit mad, Ron."

"A _bit_? I'd say so."

"Do you think they just wanted to help us get together?"

"By locking us in a closet?"

"Well, it _is_ Fred and George we're talking about, Ronald."

"Good point. Too bad their plan didn't work."

"Do you think we should tell them that we're already together?"

"We could do that... _or_ we could just take advantage of this closet that they so kindly shoved us into."

"Ronald!"

"What? We can't disappoint them, can we? I mean, they worked so hard."

"Well, I suppose letting them think their plan worked _would_ be the considerate thing to do."

"Indeed it would."

"And I _so_ hate to disappoint them..."

"I knew you'd come around."

"Oh, you did?"

"Of course. I'm completely irresistible to women."

"Oh, really?"

"Er... well, maybe not _all _women."

"Only _some_ women?"

"Only women with beautiful, bushy hair."

"Well, there's quite a few of us. How do I know which one you mean?"

"An interesting observation. I guess I'll have to show you, won't I?"

"I guess you will."

Two hours later, Fred and George woke up to silence.

"Do you think they're still in there?"

"They must be – you locked the door, didn't you?"

"Of course. What do you think they're doing in there?"

"I don't think I want to know."

"Ah, right. Do you think we should let them out?"

"Probably should. Brace yourself."

"Right."

They opened the door and were surprised by what they found – Ron and Hermione, fast asleep in each others' arms. They grinned at each other and closed the door again.

"Mission accomplished."

**FIN**

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A/N: Yay! Gred and Forge AND Ron and Hermy! It doesn't get much better than that! Please leave me a pretty little review and I'll share my ramen noodles with you! 


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